Cracked!

It was past midnight and after her nightly ritual of book-reading she turned around to switch off the bedside lamp when she saw a huge crack in the drawer in her night stand. She switched off the light with a resolve that she’ll check it out in the morning.

Next day she got up and in the course of her routine, she forgot about the crack. Again at night when she switched off the light she resolved to check it out and forgot the next day. This continued till the drawer had to be replaced.

He came from office at his usual 9.00 PM, all tired and irritated. He took out his wallet to place on his night stand and saw a slight tear at the corner. He thought over the weekend he’ll go and buy a new one, it doesn’t suit a manager level guy to carry a torn wallet. But weekends came and went and he only replaced it when the tear turned into a hole and change fell through it.

He came home from office and saw the dining table was dusty and the sofa cushions were awry. He didn’t say anything, thinking,”she’ll manage the house and its chores in her own way, I shouldn’t impose.” The next day he came from office, the table was still dirty and the cushions were no better. It continued, until one day he walked into the house and lost his temper and they fought from dusk till dawn, bringing up incidents from the last 10 years of their marriage. And all over what, a dusty table and awry cushions.

She was telling him about a tragic incident in her friend’s life and how they should try to visit her in the next month or so but he was so tired that he didn’t listen. She thought, “I’ll let it be today and will try tomorrow”. The next day, again she tried to tell him about how her day was and he was busy watching the news. She thought, “he needs to relax, I’ll talk later.” The tomorrow didn’t come and while she forgot that she needed to tell him the incident again, she remembered that he didn’t listen to her.

They were both seeing the cracks in their relationships but not doing anything to fix them. However, unlike a night stand and a wallet, its not easy to live with cracked relationships and nor is it easy to replace a cracked relationship with a new one.

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Love versus Love

I’ve been wanting to write a short story for sometime but never had the courage or time. Now I’ve tried for the first time and because all my life, and especially over the last year, I’ve just guzzled on all sorts of bollywood, hollywood, hindi, english, TV serials and romance novels, my first one is kind of a love story. I dunno much about building characters and plot lines, I’ve just written what came to mind. I’m not sure if I like it but I hope you like it 🙂

So here goes………Love versus Love……………

She turned around to catch a last glimpse of the receding train and that face peeking out from the door. She felt she was breaking into a million pieces as she was saying goodbye to a new life. She was thinking that she was probably going to regret her decision of not climbing onto that train with him tonight but she had a duty towards her family too.

Shivani was a single mother of two, widowed at a young age. She was living with her parents half the year and with her in-laws the other half. Atman and Shivani had been married for 9 years, before Atman died in a car crash. She took it as fate and moved on with life, vowing to herself to be both mother and father to her kids.

Shivani was brought up in traditional and practical household and like a typical wife, her priorities in life were her household and her small home office. She did not really have the time or the imagination or even the expectation of the Mills-&-Boonsy love that one reads about and watches in movies. Marriage with Atman was easy and manageable, he was patient, kind and understanding and that was all that she needed, so she was happy and content with life. But once that comfort was taken away she didn’t even once think of marrying again because it is not easy to accept someone’s wife and kids as your own. And since love didn’t really feature on her priority list, she was content with the support of her family.

But of course, love doesn’t really announce itself before coming into your life. Unexpectedly, Shivani bumped into an old college buddy, Rohan, at a stationary shop and before they knew it, cupid had struck. Rohan and Shivani met frequently and knew that they had something special but they never said it out loud. Rohan was aware of Shivani’s situation and knew that it will be a difficult process for the kids to accept him and also for both the families to agree to such an alliance, especially since he had never married before. However, he knew he wanted to go the distance with Shivani so one day he asked her to marry him. He said, he had a job offer in another city, in a few months time, they could get married and move to a new city and a new life for themselves. Shivani was shocked and she asked for a couple of days to think over her response.

She spent the entire night thinking. On one side was her love for Rohan and one other, was her love for her kids. Marrying Rohan would mean a new life for her and her kids where they all will no doubt be loved and cared for but there was a big what-if hanging over head: What-if her kids did not really accept him; what-if his family didn’t really accept her kids; what would be the equation between all the siblings when Rohan and Shivani had their own kids. It is one thing to sit in a coffee shop for a few hours, gazing into each other’s eyes and dreaming of a life together and it is another thing to live out the grueling daily routine which is rife with all sorts of social and familial pressures and which strips off the love from your eyes; leaving behind a reality which is difficult to accept if you haven’t really thought it through. In the end, she needed to decide between best quality of life for her kids (best because if she stayed single she could avoid the entire trauma of settling into a new family for her children) and better quality of life for herself (better and not best because Rohan did truly love her but what would happen once the initial love-laced blinkers would come-off his eyes?). In the end, the love between a man and a woman is a risk and Shivani was not willing to take that risk, not because she was afraid of the consequences, but because she felt her needs were sub-par against the needs of her kids, Rohan’s life and both their families lives as well.

And so, she stood there at the station waving goodbye to her first love, while holding her life-long love, her children in her arms.

Routine

Just like everyday, her alarm went off at 5.50AM and with sleepy eyes, she dragged herself off the bed and into the kitchen. Just like everyday, she put the kettle to boil and made the usual extra strong, extra sweet tea, just the way her husband liked. Just like everyday, while the tea was coming to a boil, she decided what to make for lunch and readied the kitchen. Just like everyday, she poured out the tea into two cups and went into the room, rubbing the last of sleep from her eyes and called, “Honey, the tea is ready, please wake up.” But unlike everyday, he was not there in the room and in her life.

He was gone. It had been one month since he’d walked out on 15 years of their marriage. She was very angry at first and thought good riddance but just like a routine, love also becomes a habit, it cannot be flicked on and off like a light switch. Over the last one month, she’d been in a constant battle with her mind and heart. While her mind couldn’t forget what he’d done, her heart missed him and his love which was intertwined in small things like their morning tea time and their weekend cooking experiments.

FIFA: From the eyes of a novice

FIFA

Its FIFA season and it would be remiss of me not to write something on it. While I don’t have the world cup fever, I surely am following it and trying to watch as many matches as I can before I push my husband off the couch to doze off in front of the TV.

Anyways, my idea behind writing this post is to jot down my first good FIFA experience and musings.

Earlier, I used to think that seeing a ball being passed along on a grass field for 90 minutes would be boring and monotonous but once I started watching, I got hooked on because the game is full of energy and drama. Every time there is a run towards the goal, I’m on the edge of my seat. The anticipation and run-up towards a goal is like boiling milk, will the milk spill over or just touch the rim and settle back down? (Please bear with me, since I’m on the “housewife project”, my analogies are also more connected to my household work ;))

Since I’m a novice, I don’t really know which teams are good but based on country size and certain prejudices in my mind, I thought bigger and famous nations would be better than the smaller ones. But as the world cup unfolded, I was really really surprised at the game and skill of countries like Mexico, Columbia, and Algeria. I’m loving the energy of the game and the camaraderie among players.

Apart from the obvious high-energy, high-testosterony, and muscular (drools!!!) qualities of the game, I was also thinking about the entertainment value of the game.  While the game itself is interesting enough to keep you glued to the TV set, there is also the added benefit of seeing grown men, doing nautanki and groaning. Agreed, quite a bit is genuine pain, am not mocking them, but there are a few cases where the person isn’t hurt but is just acting in the hope of a foul or free kick.

I was thinking, would exaggeration be a part of their training or its just an inborn talent because as kids we’ve all manipulated our parents with our hurt cherubic faces and teary eyes. I remember looking at someone’s toys longingly and then turning towards my mom with the right amount of tears and sadness on my face, indicating I too want one. Of course, the toy comes with conditions applied* – no more bad handwriting, eating everything that is served, etc. etc. But the joy of getting what you desired is unparalleled :).

Anyways, to cut my ramblings short; over the last few weeks, as I’ve shifted my channels from FIFA to Wimbeldon and spent my free time reading about these sports and their players, I’ve realized that sports are more intriguing than daily soaps and romance novels 🙂

Happy FIFA-ing everyone!