Love versus Love

I’ve been wanting to write a short story for sometime but never had the courage or time. Now I’ve tried for the first time and because all my life, and especially over the last year, I’ve just guzzled on all sorts of bollywood, hollywood, hindi, english, TV serials and romance novels, my first one is kind of a love story. I dunno much about building characters and plot lines, I’ve just written what came to mind. I’m not sure if I like it but I hope you like it 🙂

So here goes………Love versus Love……………

She turned around to catch a last glimpse of the receding train and that face peeking out from the door. She felt she was breaking into a million pieces as she was saying goodbye to a new life. She was thinking that she was probably going to regret her decision of not climbing onto that train with him tonight but she had a duty towards her family too.

Shivani was a single mother of two, widowed at a young age. She was living with her parents half the year and with her in-laws the other half. Atman and Shivani had been married for 9 years, before Atman died in a car crash. She took it as fate and moved on with life, vowing to herself to be both mother and father to her kids.

Shivani was brought up in traditional and practical household and like a typical wife, her priorities in life were her household and her small home office. She did not really have the time or the imagination or even the expectation of the Mills-&-Boonsy love that one reads about and watches in movies. Marriage with Atman was easy and manageable, he was patient, kind and understanding and that was all that she needed, so she was happy and content with life. But once that comfort was taken away she didn’t even once think of marrying again because it is not easy to accept someone’s wife and kids as your own. And since love didn’t really feature on her priority list, she was content with the support of her family.

But of course, love doesn’t really announce itself before coming into your life. Unexpectedly, Shivani bumped into an old college buddy, Rohan, at a stationary shop and before they knew it, cupid had struck. Rohan and Shivani met frequently and knew that they had something special but they never said it out loud. Rohan was aware of Shivani’s situation and knew that it will be a difficult process for the kids to accept him and also for both the families to agree to such an alliance, especially since he had never married before. However, he knew he wanted to go the distance with Shivani so one day he asked her to marry him. He said, he had a job offer in another city, in a few months time, they could get married and move to a new city and a new life for themselves. Shivani was shocked and she asked for a couple of days to think over her response.

She spent the entire night thinking. On one side was her love for Rohan and one other, was her love for her kids. Marrying Rohan would mean a new life for her and her kids where they all will no doubt be loved and cared for but there was a big what-if hanging over head: What-if her kids did not really accept him; what-if his family didn’t really accept her kids; what would be the equation between all the siblings when Rohan and Shivani had their own kids. It is one thing to sit in a coffee shop for a few hours, gazing into each other’s eyes and dreaming of a life together and it is another thing to live out the grueling daily routine which is rife with all sorts of social and familial pressures and which strips off the love from your eyes; leaving behind a reality which is difficult to accept if you haven’t really thought it through. In the end, she needed to decide between best quality of life for her kids (best because if she stayed single she could avoid the entire trauma of settling into a new family for her children) and better quality of life for herself (better and not best because Rohan did truly love her but what would happen once the initial love-laced blinkers would come-off his eyes?). In the end, the love between a man and a woman is a risk and Shivani was not willing to take that risk, not because she was afraid of the consequences, but because she felt her needs were sub-par against the needs of her kids, Rohan’s life and both their families lives as well.

And so, she stood there at the station waving goodbye to her first love, while holding her life-long love, her children in her arms.

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