Since childhood we’re taught how to behave. We are taught the difference between good actions and bad actions and the consequences that follow these actions. We are also taught how to act in all kinds of situations – like be humble when someone praises you, or lend a helping to someone in need, or, in my case, someone’s once even nudged me once and told me to laugh when someone says a joke. Basically, what I’m trying to say is that, whether you’re trying to find one or not, you’ll find a sort of a guide book or in many case a guide-type person to tell you how to behave and how to act and also how to perceive other’s actions and behavior.
But I am one of those kind of people who needs spoon feeding every step of the way – I need a guide book elaborating on how to feel, how to handle feelings, how to change feelings, and in certain instances, how not to feel something.
Feelings are very complicated and way beyond my control. Let me give you a simple instance: It always (absolutely always) happens with me that when I’m watching a movie, or sometimes even with a book, I cry even though I know its just fiction and in the end everything’s going to be rosier than even the reddest of roses, I still cant help but well-up or sometimes even sob shamelessly (that too in the theater and that too at a level that people stop watching the movie and turn around and look at me (^-^”)’\ ). I need a guide to help me how not to feel this.
I want to learn how to feel and how not to feel. I want to learn how to not be too overjoyed or how not to be too sad. I want to learn to brush away the feeling of hopelessness and I also want to learn to brush away the fear that comes with being too happy. I want to learn to enjoy my happiness knowing that I deserve it and not looking over my shoulder, waiting for something bad to happen and take it all away. I want to learn how not to let my hope turn into desperation.
In short, I want a life hack for feelings.