Ek aur cooking disaster ki dastaan!!!

Today I took one more step closer to realizing that me and cooking (atleast good cooking, sick-people food I can make easily :)) are always going to be poles apart.

If anyone’s interested in my cooking endeavors (more like disasters) then here’s a list of my mistakes in the order in which they happened and ofcourse, progressively worsened.

Mistake 1: The idea to invite two families in my neighborhood for dinner. Newly married couple is OK because I can hope that the wife isn’t a veteran and just a waft of my disastrous cooking, won’t reveal to her how terrible a cook I am. But inviting two families, where the ladies are superb mothers and cooks, means I have no chance (even if I blindfold and gag them) of escaping unscathed.

Mistake 2: I planned and plotted a week in advance. I got everything on paper, including the cutlery I am going to use but I didn’t plan enough time to make it all :(. Or rather, as usual, I overestimated my cooking abilities. double sad face: 😦 😦

Mistake 3: I contacted my mother for easy to make Gujarati dishes, since the families I invited are Gujjus. Please don’t get me wrong, my mom’s a fantabulous cook but I am so terrible that recipes over the phone don’t work with me. I need proper measurements accompanied by videos, so but natural I stuffed up.

Mistake 4: My biggest mistake, I started the day today fully confident that I will be able to single-handedly manage cooking for 9 people. And that too not just 2 chindi items, but an entire spread of welcome drink, starter, salads, curry, dal, and rice. (I am glad I atleast decided to buy the dessert from outside).

After the overconfidence boost, I started with Dal, the easiest item I thought but it turned out to be OK, not the fabulous recipe I had wanted it to be. Next, I moved to rice, this time after the dal fiasco, I carefully laid out all the ingredients on a plate and then proceeded to make it. But after I opened the cooker and tasted the rice, I realized I forgot to put salt.

I said to myself, dust off old mistakes and start fresh with the curry, but starting fresh just meant making twice the number of mistakes and stuffing up the curry so bad that Aloo Sabzi Masala tasted like a half-cooked pav bhaji ka bhaji. I had totally lost it by this time, but I was way behind my planned time and I needed to move on to the starter and the salads.

To play safe with the starter, I decided to make a simple dip and serve with chips. The dip ofcourse had too much curd instead of cheese and was tasting like raita. Triple sad face 😦 😦 😦
The salads thankfully most of it I had cut the previous night and no matter how bad a cook one is, you cant mess up with mixing ingredients and adding salt and lemon to it.
So with that done, I moved on to making paranthas. By this time I think God took pity on me and sent my neighbor. That angel barged into my house and helped me fixed my curry and dal and also helped me make the paranthas. So at the end of the day, thanks to her and my husband (who helped me cook, cleaned up the house and the kitchen) we had decent place to sit and a decent meal to eat.

Come over to my place any time if you wanna feel good about your cooking. 🙂

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1 Comment

  1. Hahahahaa super funny. I have done these mistakes a zillion times… I was no good cook either. Learned a lot n now its perfect. Yet, noone cooks as good as Maa 🙂
    Just fyi… in case u make a curry/sabjhi thats far from what its name suggests it might be… just change the name n let the neighbors feel like they r eating something new n exotic… done tgat a few hundred times n it has worked in a dew cases.

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